This post is all about the truth in learning coping skills. It is not what you think or how you perceive it. Over the years people have said things like this to me... I am not you...I am not strong like you...I do not think like you. I can not do what you do. I was not born that way.
As a person that has facilitated support groups and just helped lots of people develop coping skills I say bullshit to that and here is why. 1. People that learn great coping skills still have bouts of sadness. They cry. They laugh. They grieve. They play....they have joy. They know that it is OK to show every emotion and still make life go on. Being strong does not mean that you do not show all of your emotions. I cry...I am scared... It is what I do while experiencing those emotions that count. 2. This whole happy thing all of the time is silly. Happy is not something that you will arrive at one day. Happy comes from deep within your soul and your mind and helps you learn how to cope. I am talking about the inside happy...not the outside :).. 3. All coping skills can be LEARNED. That is what we do in support group. We teach people coping skills. I have seen this time and time again. People from all walks of life newly diagnosed come in crazy ...and I mean crazy. Then the process begins of calming them down and teaching them very defined skills. And little by little I have had the extreme honor of watching this metamorphosis ....this once insane person becomes this amazing, strong patient advocate for themselves and others. It does not work for everyone.
Some people prefer to stay angry and sad rather than strong and capable. Which person will you be? I am strong because I choose to be. It does not mean that I am a rock. I still need help from time to time...I am just like you...I just learned skills to carry on in a great way. Step up...step out...get out of your head and take care of yourself :). I believe that I have other posts in here on coping...after 600 posts I do not know where it is! xoxo
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