Cancer Survivorship...Out of Control Medical Procedures

I will get back to the working series however I am just in the midst of surgery prep with so many other survivors.....

I want to talk about the lengths we go to ...to stay alive  and how as medical procedures become more advanced we will do more and more to ourselves to stay here...how do you know when to stop and enjoy the quality of your life while you are still here????  When do you really know?  WHEN?

You don't most of the time...you just don't.  You are fighting fear and trying to have hope.  You are staring into the eyes of family and friends with pain and longing that there are no words to explain.  You just want to stay here for them....for you....and you have no clue what will happen next...especially pre surgery.

I am very lucky....I do everything independently....you would never have a clue what I have been through medically when looking at me.  I am so thankful for that.  You would never know how I really plan my day :) 

Some of my friends in the long term fight like me....when I read their medical signatures....I am breathless..I find it unbelievable and yet they did it!   Skulls and jaws removed and rebuilt...legs, arms, feet removed...brains radiated...arteries put in different places...OY...and they did it and still here to discuss it.

Last night I screamed at the moon with my fist in the air....help me and my incredible friends.  We want to stay here.  Whoever your God is they...mine...must understand anger....In this case acceptance would be a death sentence.   I will only engage the power of acceptance when I can fight no more.  And I hope I really will know when that is.   xoxox