Cancer Survivorship.....To my Family etc Live in Joy

I am leaving this open to all however you may know that I am writing to you and only you...and you and you.

I have spent a good part of these cancer years recently wandering quite a bit.  We, You, I have lived so many places...on purpose and much of it has been wonderful.  I have met and made so many wonderful friends.  I like to wander lately.

Life is built much of the time on fear....fear of living and not living enough...fear of dying too soon and then living too long.  Fear of failure and fear of success...fear of having not enough money and even having too much!    Fear of being alone and fear of being in a room with so many people and still feeling alone.  Fear of never getting it right and when you do...it was not what you expected at all.

There is no reason to ever live in fear and yet so many of us do.  I look back on 13 years of various surgeries, chemo, and I can not believe it.  I can not believe that I actually did all of that...last year I had 4 major surgeries.  I think I hit 20 in all of these years.  I am not sure how much more traditional stuff I feel like doing and yet I do not feel that I am dying...even though I might be.  I do not think that I am  :).

So here comes the legal cannabis oil and much other alternative stuff..I will let you know how it all goes.

I know not to live in fear of much of anything...I have already done what many people would go crazy over and I am still standing and then some...all I have to do is fight for my life.  I can do that.

Do not let your life be driven by fear...drive it by joy...let both sad and happy emotions feed your soul.  Do not hold back in love, work, and all else.  And I know you might not understand this until too much time has passed.  Keep going.  Cancer...it sucks.  Open up...time is running out!